Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The Stuff They Forgot To Tell Us...

There was a little girl who always demanded fairytales before bedtime...and this is what they forgot to tell her....

Once upon a time...

There was a beautiful princess whose skin was flawless, her figure near perfection, and her hair lustrous and long...very, very long. This princess was destined to marry an evil prince whom she despised with her whole existence. Her father locked her in a high tower until she agreed to the matrimony. The princess was in love with one of the knights. This knight was "good and honest"...and extremely handsome. The fairytales usually skipped to the part where the knight saves the princess from the evil prince and they live happily ever after.

Well the real story goes like this. After the knight and princess establish their love for one another, the knight decides to leave her in her tower for a couple of nights...or months. She waits patiently for the man of her dreams whilst he is out with his fellow knights drinking ale at the pub and courting other common females. He would pull on the fair princess' hair late in the evening and beg to be let up. Typical. Drunk and belligerent and demanding face time with the only girl that cares for him. When she refused because of her anger and jealousy, he would recite poetry and tell her how much he loved her. She would eventually let him up. Every night the same routine would occur and every night she would forgive him. He continuously cheated on her and ran back to her when he had nothing else to do.

Eventually when he decided he needed to shape up, be a man, and settle down, he ran back to the princess, freed her from her castle and married her. He faked the first 5 years of marriage, the two kids, and their happiness.

And they lived sexlessly ever after.

The End.

2 comments:

  1. hahahaha wtff its so random and amazing, i love it!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. part 2 snow white and her 7 exes

    ReplyDelete